Q: How can I enjoy time for myself, without the guilt?
A: I just received this question in a workshop last week, and right away I thought of two ways to answer it – one spiritual and one practical. I’d like to share both. But let me be clear, the spirituality I talk about here transcends any one particular religion. I believe in a universal, loving God or Source that is a core part of our humanity, and one that dearly needs to remain with us, through various doctrines or creeds perhaps, as we raise our children in this ever-challenging world.
So, back to the question! As Marianne Williamson so beautifully put it, “You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. As we let our own Light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.”
Wow! Okay, a little far out, perhaps, but bear with me. If you think about your child in a calm moment (!), you are amazed at the miracle of life that he or she is. You want the best for your child. You want him or her to be happy and healthy, to feel nourished in body, mind, and spirit. When our children grow up do we want that any less for them? Do they deserve any less? No, of course not. Well, we’re all grown-up children ourselves, are we not? So if its true for your child, it’s true for you!
As it says in one of my favorite poems, Desiderata, “You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars, you have a right to be here.” So the spiritual tip is this: STOP, RELAX, & THINK! Realize you are a child of God, fully deserving of love, respect, and nurturance yourself. Period. Now, if that’s a struggle for you, as it is for many of us, then you may want to seek support that helps you stay centered on this truth. I know a good family wellness coach who would be glad to help…
And if that’s all too woo-woo for you, then let’s try the practical. Plain and simple. If life is too crazy busy and feels like an airliner plummeting through wild turbulence headed for disaster, and you and your child are gasping for oxygen, whatcha gonna do? If you don’t give yourself the oxygen first, you’re literally not going to be conscious enough to save your child. That’s why we’ve developed the Conscious Parenting Circle coaching program – to help parents remain more fully conscious of how they are taking care of their own needs as well as their kids’ needs
One more thing. If you imagine yourself being a pitcher filled with love and wisdom for your children, and you want to fill their little cups up with the good stuff you have to offer, but the pitcher is empty… What does your child get from you? Nada. So of course, you need to keep refilling your own pitcher to have something nourishing to offer your children. So if you’re still in doubt about how much TIME OFF you deserve, then go ahead and tell yourself, you’re doing it for your children’s sake. A great guilt reliever!
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