a) PLAYS. Laughter is the best medicine. We love learning new card games and enjoying old favorite board games at the kitchen table several times a week. It’s fun to create indoor forts once in a while – with blankets and pillows and sheets strung about the family room furniture with secret back doors for quick escapes. Hide and seek is timeless, playing catch with any old ball even better.
It can be as simple as snuggling up with our little one for a half-hour of Arthur on PBS in the morning, or looking forward to reruns of The Office or new episodes of Modern Family with our teens for a brief respite in the evenings. We enjoy Friday Family Nights – with a rented movie at home with popcorn and blankets for all, or enjoy a round of charades or spice it up with Scene It games. Or go out and cheer on our kids at their football/soccer/basketball games. And you can’t beat just hanging out, fooling around, perhaps sharing newly discovered YouTube sites or silly-band additions or lyrics to a favorite new song or stories from summer camp or crazy Mr. So-and-So in science class again today.
b) STUDIES. I just finished washing the dinner dishes while quizzing my third grade daughter on her spelling words and then listening to her read aloud for her Book-It homework (Misty of Chincoteague is our current pick). We then continued reading about the wild horses together, snuggled up in her bed until it was time for lights out. (My wife and I take turns with this nightly ritual, and have with all four of our children for the past 20 years.)
Now I’m typing this article with the laptop on my lap, with the outdoor floodlights highlighting the swirling snowstorm, and Christmas music playing in the background. On the loveseat next to me is my wife, busy on her laptop with the minutes for the Basketball Boosters Club. On the sofa across the room is our college daughter working on her term paper, and in the next room our high-school son is writing an essay for English class. It’s a beautiful quiet hour or two of parallel studying and working. Sure it’s sandwiched between everyone’s coming and goings, and it doesn’t happen like that every night. But it happens often enough that it becomes part of the family culture – the proverbial work ethic, built up little by little. Not by talking about it, as much as modeling it, practicing it, living it. One day at a time.
c) EATS. Family meals together, several nights a week, are a God send. We pause from the daily run-around, and reconnect. There’s truly something sacred about “breaking bread” together that nourishes both the body and the soul. My wife cooks the meal, the kids set and clear the table, I wash the dishes and clean the kitchen afterwards. We all contribute. We sit down and hold hands and say grace together, thankful for the blessings of food and family. Then we dig in, and the banter begins. We talk about our days, our ups and downs, things still to do or coming up, logistics to work out, current events, debates, philosophies, but mostly simple stories, shared experiences, and almost always joking and laughing.
d) TALKS…
e) GIVES…
f) RELAXES…
g) CLEANS UP…
h) PRAYS…
i) VOLUNTEERS…
j) SINGS…
Add daily doses of any one of these for just 15-30 minutes. Simple. Real. One step at a time. As John Dryden said, “We first make our habits, and then our habits make us.” What will it be for you? Fill in the blank… With mindful choices. And action.
Do tell! How would YOU fill in the blank? What word would you use? What little pleasures have you had in the past that helped bond your family together? What ideals do you aspire to as your family starts the new year?
Please share your thoughts with us at Support@KidstepCoaching.com.
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