Food. Sex. Sleep. That about covers it. Need anything else to satisfy your deepest longings?
All animals, including we humans, share in these basic drives. The drive to survive. But beyond these basics, what else drives us as human beings? What motivates us to behave the way we do? And more often on the minds of parents and teachers nowadays, what on earth will motivate these kids?
Daniel Pink has an eye-opening new book out about this topic, titled DRIVE – The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us. He draws heavily on the pioneering works of psychologists Carolyn Dweck and Edward Deci – furthering our understanding of intrinsic motivation.
Huh? Well, there’s extrinsic motivation – doing something at someone else’s urging and for some external reward – studying to get a good grade to earn $5 from dad. And there’s intrinsic motivation – doing something because it is interesting to you, the process is stimulating and engaging, and it feels good inside as we rise to the challenge.
Which would we rather see develop in heavy doses in our children? Which do we see most heavily relied on in today’s classrooms and even some living rooms?
Pink neatly summarizes the scientific body of work that helps us realize that beyond the basic biological drives, we have three innate psychological drives – for autonomy, mastery, and purpose or meaning. Our well-being and life satisfaction are heavily influenced by how much we feel we have choices, how much we feel competent and capable, and how much our contributions have some meaningful connection to others and the greater good.
When kids work because they’re ordered to by adults, when they have to keep working on things they’re not good at, when they have to do busy-work that doesn’t have any relevant meaning in their lives, then what might we expect? We can expect to see decreased productivity, compliance, enthusiasm, and motivation to do that work.
What to do instead? Whenever possible, ask yourself these three questions and apply them before requiring your child or student to perform work:
1. Am I offering the child any autonomy over how and when to do this work? Remember to offer a “Choice Within Limits.” Your bottom line sets the limit – as in, you expect your child to complete his homework tonight, yet he can choose to do it before or after dinner, in the kitchen or bedroom, etc. (as long as we see that the work gets done that way!). Give your child some “little say” so they have some investment or ownership in getting the job done in a way that works best for them.
2. Does this assignment promote mastery by offering a novel, engaging task? Think of ways the task can engage the child’s natural strengths, interests, or affinities. Provide variety and encourage creativity. Be sure to praise the child’s efforts and persistence, more than the outcome or product (more on this another day).
3. Does the child understand the purpose of the assignment? Can they see how this activity contributes to the greater good at home, school, or in the world? After giving a request or command, remember to ask your child “What do you need to do? And Why?!” Take the extra minute to make sure they understand the instructions and the point of it all. If you’re not clear on the point yourself, why would you expect your child to be motivated to do something that is pointless?!
Use these opportunities to discuss with your children your values, what is important and meaningful in your family or classroom, and how your child can and will be a big part of that! Also ask them what’s important to them, and how this work can be connected to that.
Remember to be calm and firm, or better yet, encouraging and enthusiastic. The more you show intrinsic motivation, engagement, and positive energy in a goal or task, the more likely your children will too.
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