A recent article in the magazine “Real Simple” (January 2011) summarized some of the recent research on how you can be happier throughout the year. Happiness is a big topic these days, one we care a lot about as a counterpoint to all the stress and worries of modern living. So, what does make you – and your children – happy?
The folks at “Real Simple” conducted a survey, and displayed the results in a word cloud with the most frequent answers showing up in larger print. Guess which single word dominates the middle of the graphic display in giant letters?
Family.
Odds are, your answer had something to do with this too, yes?
For the record, the next tier of most important things that make their readers happy included love, peace, and laughter, home, children and grandchildren, along with beach, sunshine, and chocolate!
Other research studies in the exploding field of positive psychology have likewise found that one of the most important determinants of personal happiness is the quality of our relationships. It’s not about money, or work (though job satisfaction is important too), or having “stuff.” It’s about family and friends.
Of course we care about our family and friends, and yet we often neglect to share the gift of loving, laughing time (along with sunshine and chocolate, apparently!) with them. We race through the day with “too many other things to do” and complain that there’s “not enough time” to just hang out and have fun.
Well, guess what, having fun and being happy actually produces lots of other gains that are worth your consideration – including stronger immune systems, more satisfied marriages, greater work productivity, and more charitable contributions to society. So, if you think having some fun time is selfish or silly, think again.
Happiness is the cornerstone of well-being that produces a positive ripple effect that can only benefit your children, your community, and yes, humanity. (Why do you think our founding American fathers considered the pursuit of happiness as one of the fundamental human rights?)
About 50% of one’s happiness, like many other temperamental characteristics, appears to be genetically determined or hard-wired. Another 10% is due to environmental circumstances. That leaves 40% up to you to shape. How you think and behave – the choices you make – will go a long way to adding to (or subtracting from) you happiness.
And since we know that FAMILY is one of the most powerful factors in happiness, it makes sense to focus on what you can do today and tomorrow and the next day to improve those family relationships. When you enjoy your kids and family more, you’ll experience more happiness, which will lead to more enjoyable family time, and so on – creating a positive snowball effect.
So, here’s 3 simple tips that can improve your happiness:
1. Repeat behaviors that have made you happy in the past. Duh! Think about one of the most fun family times you can remember with your kids. Where were you, and what were you doing? Okay, if it included Disney World, you maybe can’t repeat that everyday, so what about a simpler, fun laughing time you shared at home. Or a comfortable, contented time you shared? Remember the warm feeling in your gut, the utter joy in heart, as you just enjoyed this fun time with your gang? Well, do it some more.
2. Immerse yourself in the moment. Make sure whatever you’re doing, you’re fully engaged in it. If you’ve chosen to have some “down time” or “family time”, focus on that activity, those people, only during that time. Yeah, that means cell phones off, no distractions, no multitasking, no worrying about the work you (or your kids) still have to do. For that time, allow yourself to be fully present and immersed in the fun.
3. Do something that serves a larger purpose. Believe it or not, that old saying “giving is better than receiving” really does have some merit. Studies show that when we feel we are contributing to the well-being of others, it has a positive side-effect of increasing our happiness and sense of satisfaction. So, what are you and your kids doing that feels like you’re contributing some value to others. When you engage in charity, service, or community events together, with the intention of contributing in some small way to others’ happiness, you’ll find that gift returns to you in the form of unaccounted blessings.
Now, if you’re feeling like this all sounds great, but you still don’t have the time for it – you don’t see how you could really follow through with some of these ideas – then do yourself a big favor. Go to www.timechoicing.com right now and sign up for my upcoming teleseminar for busy parents. You’ll get the help you need to stop stressing and start enjoying your life (and kids) again.
Why bother? Because your happiness and your children’s happiness are worth it. Aren’t they?
Comments on this entry are closed.