The Olympics are in full swing again. It’s so fascinating to listen to the stories of the world’s top athletes, what it takes for them to fulfill their dreams, and then watch them go for it. The thrill of victory… the agony of defeat… the human drama of athletic competition. No guarantees, just like in life.
And just like most anything else in life, sports can serve as a vehicle for raising healthy, happy, well-adjusted kids, or serve to crush their spirit and sense of well-being. It’s all in how we approach it – in both our words and deeds – that can make all the difference.
Here’s my list of the top 5 life lessons that youth sports can teach our kids – when we “keep it real” and don’t get too carried away with grandiose visions of pro careers.
1. The play is the thing. The only reason to play the game is if your kid loves it and it’s fun. There is no sense in doing it for any other reason. For some kids, this will be recreational or intramural play, for some it may involve all-star travel teams. It’s all good – as long as it’s being done because the child enjoys it and wants to do it.
Follow your child’s lead. Provide as much support to following your child’s passions as you comfortably can. Two keys here – you’re following your child’s dreams, not pushing him into yours. And you’re balancing the family commitments of time, money, and energy in a way that feels best for everyone.
Here is a question that can help you make a more conscious choice for your family. On the whole, is your child’s participation in this sport more energy-gaining or energy-draining? Your gut instinct will tell you whether to keep going with more active participation that is FUN or cut back to allow more breathing room for the rest of life.
2. Persistence and perseverance, not talent, will prevail. While your child’s involvement still needs to be fun, that doesn’t mean sports – or life – is always a simple walk in the park. To get to the good stuff, we have to work at it: practice, persist, and persevere through mistakes and injuries and embarrassments and slumps. These are all part of the game. It’s the person who develops the self-discipline to keep going, even when the going gets tough, that gets to enjoy the sweet taste of success – at whatever level that may be.
3. Focus on what you can control, and do the best you can at that. You can’t control the outcome, only the input. You’re responsible for your actions, and that’s all. Focus on the little things that count, doing things the right way – within the rules, fundamentally sound, over and over – that’s what will bring you successful results. If you spend your time worrying about the weather conditions or what your opponent is doing or how the officials are handling calls, you are distracting yourself from the only thing that really matters – how you choose to respond to any of it.
Don’t keep comparing yourself to the other guy (whether its teammates or opponents). Focus only on your vision of how you play your game – with your own strengths and abilities and determination – then do it. Play your part the best that you can. The rest will take care of itself.
4. We’re all different, we’re all the same. Every person has strengths and weaknesses. Every person has value. You won’t accomplish anything meaningful in life without recognizing your interdependence with others – whether on your team or in your community. Whatever gifts and limitations you have, it’s important to realistically recognize them, and play the hand you’ve been dealt as best you can. It’s equally important to appreciate the strengths your teammates have to offer, and to accept their limitations as well.
Leverage this diversity of talents. Find ways to work together, complementing one another, to create a whole that is greater than the sum of its parts. “Team chemistry” starts with respect for each and every individual on the team, being combined with a loving commitment to one another to work towards a common goal. Harnessing the power of mutual respect and commitment is a recipe for fulfillment that works in families, schools, teams, or organizations of any kind. It is truly a life skill worth developing at an early age.
5. It isn’t always fair – and that’s okay! Don’t expect your coach, your teammates, the referee, or yourself to be perfect. Sometimes the best player doesn’t get to start. Sometimes the referee blows the call. Sometimes the clock runs out, or someone slips, or you take your eyes off the ball for just a second. Sometimes it just sucks.
And it’s still a beautiful game – whether we’re talking a sport here, or life itself. It’s all good, because there’s always a lesson for us to learn. It’s how we respond to adversity that shows our true character. After a loss, a penalty, a setback of any kind, are we still supportive of our teammates, good sports to our rivals, respectful to authority figures responsible for enforcing the rules fairly, appreciative of our coach’s intentions to get the best out of us, and forgiving to ourselves when we make a mistake? Learn from it, and let it go. Get ready for the next play, and keep on going.
Keep these tips in mind and you may not get your kid to the Olympics, but you’ll be well on your way to helping him or her come out a winner in the game of life.
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