What do parenting our kids, weekend backpacking trips, and launching a national coaching practice have in common? A lot!
Hannah's first backpacking adventure begins.
This Labor Day weekend, my wife Mary and I took our youngest daughter Hannah on her first backpacking trip. Like her three older siblings, Hannah has camped with us often. But this is the first time she’s gotten to experience what its like to be completely away from familiar comforts and travel into the great unknown with everything riding, quite literally, on your shoulders.
As we enjoyed – and endured – our weekend jaunt up and down Pennsylvania’s rocky Mid-State Trail, I found myself reflecting on the similarities between this adventure and the bigger, professional one I’m now undertaking. I also easily recognized how the lessons we were learning on this wilderness hike were directly relevant to the challenges parents face with their kids every day.
Consider these parenting tips inspired by the gift of a walk in the woods…
1. Life is an adventure with many twists and turns. You can’t ever know exactly where you’re going to end up, but it still makes sense to set your eyes on a goal. Give yourself a clear direction to head. Make a conscious choice where you want to be with your family at the end of the year or the end of the day. Help your child set realistic goals that are suited for their temperament and developmental level. Then, set out with a positive “CAN DO!” attitude, excited about getting to that next peak.
2. Along the way, the key is to know that the map is not the territory. You will follow your map as best you can, but you need to keep looking up and around you to see the real life that is before you. Enjoy the journey, and the views, as you go – even when you may not be quite sure where you are. Trust that a higher power is watching over you, and that you are just exactly where you need to be.
3. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. Focus on the next step in front of you, visualizing it, taking it, completing it. That is how we reach our goals – whether on the side of a mountain or in the middle of a test at school or getting those chores done at home. What’s the old saying – success is 10% inspiration and 90% perspiration? We can’t get to where we want to go if we don’t take patient and persistent action. Keep your feet moving, and soon you’ll reach your destination. Sit still and think about it or complain about it, and you’re not getting any closer to putting those miles behind you!
4. Realize that it takes teamwork to succeed. We can’t make it through life completely on our own without getting bogged down by the heavy load or overwhelmed by the obstacles ahead. Appreciate that as a family, you are inter-dependent on one another, and on a community of support all around you. Appreciate each person’s strengths and what they can contribute to the effort. Everyone can pitch in somehow. Also, accept each person’s limitations – your child’s, your spouse’s, your own. Be respectful of these differences, and you’ll enjoy the journey a whole lot more.
5. Mistakes happen. Things won’t always go according to plan. You’ll miss a turn that you should’ve taken, lose your place, get frustrated or scared, second guess yourself, and perhaps lose your temper a bit (yes, all part of our backpacking trip!). What to do? As I remind parents and kids every day in my coaching programs, and as I practice myself in my best moments – “STOP, RELAX, & THINK!” No sense running (or hiking) around in circles. We’ve only got one choice when things go bad – we can either make them worse or better. So try it – Stop to regain perspective, relax and calm down, then start problem-solving with a clear and level head.
6. Celebrate your successes. Too often we check something off our list and hurry on to the next item, then the next, then add another, and so on. We keep looking at what we have yet to accomplish, rather than appreciating what we have already done. It feels SO good to do something you didn’t know if you could really do. When you get through a life challenge or a daily hassle, pause to reflect on just that. Celebrate what you and your child have done. Laugh, praise, dance, acknowledge – loudly or softly – it doesn’t matter. But always lovingly. Celebrate, with true love and joy, the labors you have endured together.
My very best wishes to you and your family as you end the summer and begin your new school year journey. I look forward to traveling together in the days ahead to make each trip for our kids a more successful and enjoyable one.
Cheers,
– Dr. Peter
Comments on this entry are closed.